I miss the days where I didn’t have to pay attention to what I ate, or how hard I pushed myself.
I miss the times where I bathed in the sun with not a care in the world. Nowadays when I’m in the heat too long, I overheat and feel ill.
I miss not having so many doctor’s appointments and having a completely open schedule to do as I please during the days I didn’t have to work.
I miss working a lot.
I miss the days when my body would not attack itself, the days without dealing with one migraine after another, and the days without having to take so many pills.
Today I say goodbye to the old me, and focus on today the best that I can. I will forever miss the old me, but a part of her will always remain. You can say goodbye to the old you too, it doesn’t mean that you have to completely forget her/him. Take care of yourself and try to accept your current situation (as tough as it may be.) Dwelling on who you used to be all the time can reopen old wounds and cause you even more unnecessary pain. You can do it, I believe in you.
– Rebecca Elizabeth (A Punk With MS)
I always have wondered what the meaning of life is. Why are we thrown into a world filled with so much joy, yet so much suffering and pain? What is the meaning behind all this, and why are we the ones to experience it? I’ve stayed up many nights questioning this, as I’m sure most of us have.
Life is mysterious, filled with unknowns. I hold onto my spirituality to connect to my higher power. It helps reassure me that there is a reason behind the life that I’m currently living. The energies of the earth are one with my entire being.
I don’t want to go through all these trials and tribulations and have nothing at the end. I want to know that I have something to look forward to when I pass on to the other side, that all the love I have spread to others will last for years to come, and that my deceased loved ones will meet me when the end of my life comes. If you look deep inside yourself then you will know deep in your heart that there is a reason. We just don’t know why.
(Animal art by Jonkie )
In retrospective, we will probably never get the answers we are looking for about life’s meaning. Maybe a part of all this isn’t knowing until the very end. One thing is for sure; Life is a beautiful gift.
-Rebecca Elizabeth A Punk With MS