Tag Archives: selfcare

Forgiving and Letting Go Of The Past?

You’re sitting in a chair relaxing on your front porch watching the sunset when suddenly a feeling of sadness arises. It causes you to feel guilty, useless, and empty. Why are you so sad when you are looking at something so beautiful? The answer? Your mind. Memories.

Why are thoughts so powerful? They can make us laugh, make us cry, and put us in the most positive mental space or negative mental space we’ve ever been in.

There sadly isn’t an easy answer. 

Numerous studies are done on human psychology all over the world, and we aren’t even halfway to learning about the human brain. There is so much information we have yet to find.

My point is, the past can be difficult sometimes. Traumatic events re-wire your brain in a way it wasn’t wired before. 

A lot of damage is done after so many events which can make it difficult to recover after a mental breakdown. 

Letting go is hard. So is forgiving. 

For you I have five words: One day at a time.

-Rebecca Elizabeth (A Punk With MS)

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I Never Knew I Was “That Sick” A Mental Health Story

Some people go years wondering what went wrong in their lives to trigger a mental illness. Some people know what went wrong but choose to not accept it.

Childhood trauma?

Abandonment?

Mental/Physical/Sexual abuse and manipulation?

These types of issues can build up over the years and wreak havoc on your soul. The longer you hold it all in the worse your mental health will be. If you have a lot of baggage to carry, please see a therapist as soon as possible. Don’t go about your mental health like I did.

I thought I was going about my mental health correctly, but I wasn’t. I would only go to therapy when I felt I “needed to” instead of seeing someone on a regular basis. With a lot of traumatic history, this was my first mistake.  Outside of therapy, I would stuff all of my emotions deep down where no one could ever find them. I would swallow sadness and show nothing but smiles because I didn’t want to let the people around me down.  Or, I’d get really angry, upset, and say hateful words to those I loved the most. I would push them away intentionally.

I was originally prescribed a mood disorder medication as a teenager but stopped taking it when I thought to myself “I don’t need this anymore because I already take an antidepressant” this was my second mistake. Year after year my moods would swing constantly. Bad days, then good days, then mixed days. I was labeled with major depression, anxiety and PTSD with disassociative features. All of my therapists thought the mood swings were trauma related.

They are, but here’s the real kicker:  I also have a history of Bipolar 2 Disorder in my family. Due to my traumatic childhood, my psychiatrist also thinks I may have Borderline Personality Disorder or Bipolar 2 Disorder.

Not in a million years would I ever feel that I would have those two diagnoses brought up to me. I’m still waiting for my mood stabilizer to work better. My psychiatrist will diagnose me officially from there.

My moods have ruined a lot of moments in my life and a part of me wishes I could get those years back with proper mental health treatment.

The moral of this story is that you need to take care of yourself especially if you have a mental illness. Go to therapy, see your psychiatrist, take your meds, do what you need to do to remain mentally healthy. You may need more help than you realize. The only way to get the most accurate diagnoses and the best care is to make sure your appointments are a routine. Don’t be afraid to get help because there are many options and many people who understand exactly what you are going through. Recovery is possible.

With love,

-Rebecca Elizabeth A Punk With MS

To The Ones Who Never Feel Good Enough

This post is dedicated to the ones who always feel like they have to hold the weight of the world on their shoulders.

You are an incredible human being that puts light into the world wherever you go.

You are a shining soul, that helps others when they feel like they have fallen into an infinite darkness.

You have held others together, even when you didn’t feel put together yourself.

You are the selflessness that a lot of the world lacks.

You are truly more wonderful than you’ll ever see or know.

I can say this because I am also one of these people.

I wonder if one day  I’ll ever feel “good enough” even though I know I’m a good person.

There are days when you’ll want to give up or even feel weak, but you need to keep moving.

You need to remain strong, you’ve made it this far. Rest and recharge if you need to. You are only one person. One person can make a difference, but in order to care for others, you need to care for yourself.

The world needs your kindness, don’t let it make you dark.

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– Rebecca Elizabeth A Punk With MS